But First ___

Man I love shopping. I'm not sure what has gotten into me lately because I used to get so irritated when my friends wanted to go shopping; its stressful and I have no sense of style. Nowadays however, you will find me in Target multiple times a week pacing through almost every isle two or three times looking for something, anything to buy. Somehow I can so easily convince myself that I absolutely need another running zip-up (to wear to Saturday morning coffee, obviously..who runs anyways?) or another jean vest even though I have 4, literally 4 hanging in my closet as we speak. Actually no, I know exactly why I've been a shopaholic lately, a little three letter word that has forever wrecked me; t-i-p-s. You think each night when you walk away with 30 dollars in ones that you are actually going to save it when in reality it is the easiest cash to spend and the fastest way to burn a hole in your pocket, or if you're me, in your new leather purse that was on sale.

Anyways tonight was date night with my good friend and we each ended up spending more money than we wanted but it really was so much fun and thats a good enough excuse. We shopped, we dined, and we caught a movie (if you haven't seen "About Time" stop everything you're doing and go see it). I bought some pretty cute shoes and Im not going to take them off ever. Only to take this picture of them so you can all see.

I almost put them on right there in the store after I bought them but stopped and thought, "No don't. First find a cute outfit so that when you wear them for the first time it will be special" and "No, first wait until you can wear them with socks so you won't stink them up like you always do." This indeed was good advice to myself and it also was perfectly fitting for what I wanted to blog about today.

When I was 14 years old, I felt a stir in my heart to do missions work. Ever since then I have had this mentality: "Yes I want to do missions work so badly, but first ___" First I need to get through high school, first I need to get my degree, first I need to become an intern at my church, first I need to become a licensed pastor, first I need to get my masters degree and on and on. While all of these things were so meaningful and beneficial, I'm afraid that mentality kept me from focusing on the present. I was so committed and unwavering in this call on my life which I truly do believe honored the Lord, but I missed out on incredible opportunities to meet people right in my city, in my workplace, and even my school. I was waiting to find that perfect outfit before I would wear the shoes.

Now at this point if you are imagining me as an old hobbit stuck in my cottage dreaming about the future and not making anything out of life you are wrong. I was out working hard and keeping busy so that I could one day go and be successful overseas. But what if, what if I would have given 100 % of my focus to the people and the circumstances around me? Would I have a different perspective, a stronger burden for the lost right here in Seattle? Probably.

This idea of "living in the moment"  is not new to me. In fact, while in Indonesia a few years back, I was staying with a family and in the daughter's room that I stayed in was a message scribbled on her mirror, "Wherever you are be all there". I knew then that it was a difficult request to ask of someone. I had longed so deeply for so long to go and live overseas someday that I did not allow myself to fully love the people around me today. Why would He give me such a desire to go but ask me to fully be present where I was? 

Here is what Ive learned just recently and it's such great news! You can have the best of both worlds (plug for Miley Cyrus, you're welcome). I believe that since I have learned to really truly be present right where I'm at, even though it is not where I dreamed of being, I'm preparing myself for the day I do go to work overseas, this is training grounds and each task given to me here, I believe is preparation for the future. 

It's funny how the things in life you find yourself pondering about are the very same things that many other people are thinking about too and perhaps what the Lord is fine tuning in the hearts of many. Pastor Carl Lentz spoke on this very same idea of operating to the fullest in whatever "street" or "neighborhood" you find yourself occupying. "follow the mundane and the spectacular will start to happen." I love that. it has been so true in my life that the moment I take my mind off my own problems and frustrations about where Im not, and put that energy and time on people around me who actually have never met Jesus or experienced hope, those frustrations vanish. What once seemed mundane and ordinary has become the most important part of my life; people. 

So here's my challenge to you, don't wait for your dreams to be fulfilled until you start doing things that matter for the Kingdom, don't hold your breath until you have reached your destination. There is so much that can happen in the journey along the way, so many wonderful people that have yet to encounter Jesus and so many things that can be strengthened in you. Don't walk around with that "but first ___" mentality where you cant go forward until everything is just right. Go and live now, Christ is willing and ready to give you purpose wherever you are!